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The one about growing up, fitting in, and all the stories we tell ourselves

Season: 2

Episode: 24

Leah Cowdry-Olson wrote an article for the Huffington Post called “I Spent 35 Years Trying To Convince The World (And Myself) That I’m White.” Leah learned a lot about herself and her story of trying to find belonging as a child when the story took on a life of its own, going viral and often misunderstood because of some circumstances surrounding its release. We unpack it in today’s episode.

Episode type: full

Hosts:Jenny Midgley and Sarah Madras

Contains Explicit Content: yes

Full Show Notes

Jenny talks about how Leah’s story inspired her so she decided to reach out through a mutual friend. Leah wrote an article for the Huffington Post called “I Spent 35 Years Trying To Convince The World (And Myself) That I’m White.” Leah learned a lot about herself and her story of trying to find belonging as a child when the story took on a life of its own, going viral and often misunderstood because of some circumstances surrounding its release. We unpack it in today’s episode.

Leah talks about how her day job is as an attorney but she has always loved to write. She shares her story about her love for writing over the last few years.

Jenny and Leah talk about what it is like to grow up in Metro DC and how it is different from anywhere else. Being that close to the seat of government colors the conversations and everyday life of people that you are unaware of until you leave the area.

Leah talks about her family and the number of siblings she has and the culture of her home growing up. She was adopted by two white parents and had a large mixed-race family with other adopted siblings. Their parents encouraged them to talk about race and learn more about their heritage growing up but for Leah, as a child, she wanted to belong in her family and the thought of another potential family out there felt as if it could erode the relationship with the family she had and loved being a part of. As an adult, she can clearly see with more perspective that that was not the case but as a child, this was a very real and rational fear that many adoptees experience in their own way.

They talk about ghost families and what that is like for children of adoption. Leah also goes on to talk about how when she was growing up she drifted more towards white culture because she wanted to fit in with her parents and feel like she belonged.

Jenny and Leah talk about how growing up adopted you always want to feel like you belong and there is a piece of you that no matter what will question that.

Sara talks about the importance of saying biological instead of real when you are talking to an adoptee about their family.

Leah talks about her experience of publishing for the Huff Post and how her article got interpreted in ways that she did not expect. Leah, Jenny, and Sara then go on to talk about the title of her article and how she lost control of the article. She was invited to a talk show that only made things worse for her.

Leah gives advice for people who are scared to tell their own stories.